Goals For September...

August is over.  Well after today.

And I did really good with my goals except for that one really awful week I had where Coca-Cola was the only thing holding me together...

Anyway, there are more days with stars on my chart than without, so that is a positive thing.  I have noticed that I am super happy when I get to put stars on there, but really disappointed in myself when I can't.  Silly, I know.  So I probably should stop caring so much about that...

Now, on to September.  My goals for September will be in addition to my August goals.  Ugh.  If I can do them.  HAHA.  I'm going to be able to, I'm just tired so I am unsure.  September is going to be my Spirituality:  Contemplate the Heavens month.  And the goals are:

• Pray more.  Prayer is proven (did you read that study too?) to relieve stress and sadness and clear your mind.  Prayer will help me feel closer to God and hopefully help me be nicer than I am currently.  I do pray already...and I feel like it is important to be real with God, so I will continue focusing on that.
• Read scriptures more.  Reading about the life of Christ helps me be more believing.
• Keep a gratitude journal.  Henry B. Eyring said, “You could ask yourself, 'How did God Bless me today?' If you do that long enough and with faith, you will find yourself remembering blessings. And sometimes you will have gifts brought to your mind which you failed to notice during the day, but which you will then know were a touch of God's hand in your life.” I'm hoping that by focusing on the positive things God has given me, it will help me be more thankful and hopeful.

So anyways...Happiness to all and to all a good night.

Janalee

Happiness

So my Happiness Project kinda hit the dust this week.  I'm starting back up tomorrow, but I had some stuff going on that required my attention much more than my quest for happiness.  And I actually can see a difference in myself when I am working toward happiness versus when I am in survival mode.

Basically, soda is my downfall.  I do good at the rest of them, but when I am stressed, soda is my go to friend.  I know that sounds ridiculous, but truly, it has helped me through the past 5 days.

And I'm hoping on Thursday, I can have enough energy to face the day on my own.

So anyways, the other things are going good still...just not soda.

So wish me luck with the next ten days.

Janalee

Necessarily Deliciousness

So...

I was just thinking about something that I am going to make for a friend of mine that helped me out this weekend.  She requested Chocolate Caramel Bars and I have been debating if I should share this recipe, or be a selfish hoarder and keep it to myself.  I decided it was really weird to be so protective and creepy to be so obsessed with a treat.  But really...I have problems letting my baby out into the world.  Here goes nothing.

But first, a little background for you.  I got this recipe when I was 19.  It was in...get this...The Essential Mormon Cookbook.  Cheesy as all get-out right?  I thought I would make them in the morning and then take them to class.  Then, because this was before everyone texted (makes me sound so old), my friend Kristi CALLED me.  People actually used to talk to each other on the phone!  Anyways...She was crying and said, "I'm not going anywhere today!"  I didn't go to class without her unless it was a life and death matter or if she promised we would go to Wendy's.  I'm a sucker.  I told her that I would come over and we could talk things over.

I got her a little plate of my newest found creation ready, and headed over.  I got there and she was just having lots of things go wrong.  Then I asked her, "What started all of this?  Why are you so sad?"  While I was asking her this, she took her first bite of a CCB.  She said, "Shut up.  Don't ask me anything.  Answer this:  Where did you buy these?"

I said, "Oh...I just made them this morning.  Why?  Are they gross?"

Side story:  I have this weird habit.  If I've never made it before I want people I love to try it first.  Not to torture them or anything.  Just a tradition, I suppose.

She said, "What are these?"

"They are called Chocolate Caramel Bars...for the Bishop.  Are they okay?"

"And YOU made these?"

"Yes.  Anyways, why are you having such a bad day today??"

Then it happened.  Honest to goodness.  She looked at me and smiled and said, "I can't even remember why I was having a bad day.  These are delicious!"

I said, "Holy crap...I gotta try one!"

"UH...NO!  This in MY plate.  Get your own!"

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

I took some later to my friend Dusty's house for his birthday.  His wife called me an hour later and said, "I ate most of those treats.  Can you give me the recipe so he doesn't know?"  HAHA

After that, I went home immediately and tried one.  The results are horrifyingly good.  Okay...maybe I"m over selling them.  But not really.  You know that quote "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"?  Well...I haven't made these in six months and I might die of happiness today just thinking of making them.

Weird.

Abnormal.

Obsessed.

So I took more over for his birthday and we ate and drank so much milk with them I thought I was going to be sick.  But it turns out, I was just sick about how much I love them.

I'm a freak.

So, here is a piece of my heart and soul.

Chocolate Caramel Bars
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Grease the crap out of a 9x13 pan.  
Brace yourself.

Mix in a medium bowl:

1 1/2 cups flour
1 1/2 cups old-fashioned oats
1 1/2 cups brown sugar, packed
1 cup plus 2 Tablespoons butter, melted
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking powder

Smush (that's right) half of this sticky mixture into the 9x13 pan.  Throw or gently place in the oven for 10-15 minutes.

Now for the caramel mix:

Melt together on LOW heat stirring constantly:  (Don't you dare let it sit, or it will burn and be gross and hard to clean.)
14 oz bag caramels, unwrapped (this part is super annoying, unwrap all of the caramels found in a 14 oz bag.  Don't eat them.  Just unwrap them.  Don't leave them wrapped.  If you do that I just don't know what to tell you.)
1/2 cup heavy whipping cream  (if you are poor like I have been, milk is fine too.  It will be thinner, but its not a big deal.)

Once that is done melting, your sticky mix in the oven should be about ready to come out.  Take it out and pour caramel mix on top.  Then, sprinkle (that's right) a 12 oz bag of MILK chocolate chips over the caramel.  Finally, carefully place the rest of the sticky mix on top.  Throw it back in the oven, bake for another 10-15 minutes and relax.  You will need to let it cool for about 20 minutes unless you want to burn your tongue to the point of inhuman pain.

The final requirement is milk.  Delicious with the bars and makes you feel like at least you are getting your calcium in...

Or something like that.

I could eat the entire pan.  But instead, I like to think of who has been best to me recently and shower them with baked goods.

And like I said, I just might die of happiness thinking of them.

Happy trails to you.

Janalee

Awkwardness

Dude.

Hi.

I just wanted to say a little sumpin sumpin.  I need to get a few things off my chest and of course, this is the place not to do it.

However, I wanted to address the issue of my dating life...

Some people say, "You are so cute!  Why aren't you married?"

Or...some people say, "Are you EVER going to get married?"

And...others say, "You need a man!"

Others say to my mother, with a look of sorrow, "I feel so bad for her.  Is she so lonely?" 

(Side note:  I know it all with good, kind intentions.  But still.  Its like asking someone who can't have kids why they don't have any.  Or asking someone if they are pregnant when they just have a belly.)

Here is what I answer to all of these questions:  I'm happy.

Does it matter if I'm married or not?

And let me tell you why I'm not married:

I'm not in love with anyone.
 
How is that for an answer?

Shocking?

But really.



True, I want to get married eventually.  But I also feel like worrying about it and wishing and hoping just makes you feel like you are crazy, or may just make you crazy.  And I am determined never to settle for less than what I want.  I don't want to fall in love with someone just to have them leave me.  I don't want to marry someone because they are "good enough" or they'll change.  I want to marry someone that I'm in absolute love with.

Sounds crazy doesn't it?

And it makes me sound like a romantic.  But I'm not.  I just have seen so many people who are married to people who are jerks, liars, creeps, abusive, etc, and even just people who don't treat them bad, but don't really treat them good either.  If I'm going to "take the plunge" so to speak, I want to have someone that loves me despite my flaws, and who is going to treat me well and help me be happier, not sadder.  I would rather stay single for the rest of my life than marry someone and be miserable.  Life is tough.  Its tougher if you are stupid.  Or married to stupid.  Or whatever.  It makes me want to say this:

Anywho, just in case you were one of the people who have asked me any of those questions, I'm not trying to be mean.  I just want people to know you can be happy no matter what your circumstance or situation may be.

Just to be clear, I believe in marriage.  I think it can be a great thing.  And I am a proud supporter of smart marriage decisions.  One day, maybe I'll even be married.  But as for now, I'm happy being married to my single life.

And dating gives me a ton of stories...dating men who like to pretend they are not gay when they really are...things of that nature.  Or liking someone that is a total jerk.  And to be perfectly honest, I'm really glad none of my relationships have worked out yet.  I feel like it will happen when its supposed to.

Bored out of your mind yet?

Me too.

So in a nutshell, here is what this post is about:

Happy hunting.

Hope you all have a great weekend.

Janalee

Happiness

So...

I am 6 days in to my happiness project.  It is going good.  I have found that putting a star on my chart for each goal, each day makes me ridiculously excited to get more...WEIRD?  I know.

I struggled on Friday to do all of my goals.  It was just one of those days that I have sometimes.  But, every other day I have met my goals and THAT makes me happy.  And when I got sad the other day, I went walking and that really boosted my attitude.

Zumba has been a fun exercise too.  At first, I was totally embarrassed, but went because it was a fundraiser for a friend of mine.  Then, my sisters who love it kept inviting me.  Now I am into it more, but I still look like an idiot dancing around.  Oh well.  It makes me happy to be drenched in sweat from a fun exercise.  Endorphins are awesome.

I have been getting things done that have needed to be done for a long time, but I've been putting off.  It is such a relief to cross them off the list.  Again, I know its weird.

On day one of my happiness project, my boss came to work with a huge surprise... I GOT FULL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I could not be happier.  It definitely made my life so much happier just from that!  I didn't believe him at first...and I told him if he was just teasing me I would cry.  HAHA.  But he was serious.  I am in LOVE with my job and the people I work with.  I couldn't be more blessed.  FANTASTIC NEWS (right, Katie?)

Anyways, so far so good.  I like having  goals that make me happier.  I have been struggling with the "need/want" stuff, but I am going to get that through my head if it is the last thing I do.

Here's to your happiness and mine,

Janalee